'Up'

hehe!

You're nothing but a beautiful illusion! 🦚 Merely a maze, which I'll never be able to understand. I will never be able to untangle you. As mysterious you are like the deep green mystic valley of the Birch & Pine trees. I wish I could write all the piled up thoughts in my brain, all cloudy, blurry and fuzzy thoughts about you. I can only lie in my pen, on this canvas of thoughts I would say 'No' I am okay with this 'everything'! I've always searched for an escape from Life, then I got the chance..But then I realized that this is not the escape I want, this was just another station of the journey. One might interpret this in one way or other. My journey of Life has just begun, sometimes I feel like going to the last station & sometimes I feel like going back to the root. But I want to see this world. Explore it, run through its green grass and hike on its mountains. Fly high up in the sky but then again I feel like why everything is happening the way it's happening. I don't understand myself anymore let alone other people. I forgot everything about me in 2020. The last thing I can remember about me is how I felt through the absurd period. I only remember myself living my life, my younger self in 2019. I would give everything I have, to go back to 2019. If only God or whoever has that power to do that wish to do it. I would do everything to not meeting you here in this place, this barren, arid place, where I feel like unwanted. But if you believe in life & the mysteries it kept in itself, then you would say Destiny brought us together. But who would believe in that lie. I wouldn't tell you the lies. When it rains in here the Life doesn't even keep a single raindrop for the thriving trees, not even like the amount of a single teardrop. How would life thrive here? Where all the people has two masks, one is their nice smiley face & the other one we all hide from the world. Only to keep it alive for ourselves. Sometimes I feel we all hide ourselves deep in the dark alley of our own Oblivion! Where we all are lost in the Limbo!! Even we fear ourselves, even we don't want to face our thoughts..We just use the dark alley as a prison for our thoughts, which we can't figure out. Our darkest, untangled tingling thoughts are kept in the darkest place to keep us sane and functioning. Otherwise we would be lost deep in the dark forever. My words overlaps often. I know I can't keep them there for ever. I want to go back to my house, that not might be the home I wanted but that's the only home I have. I want this forever winter to end soon!

Mar13'24, Del

Titled - 'Up'